How to Relax
7 Relaxation Techniques to Help You Manage Stress
Have you ever been in an argument and heard the other person tell you to just calm down?
How’d that go for you?
I bet you didn’t actually calm down.
Probably the same thing happened when you were feeling stressed and someone told you to “just relax.”
Easier said than done!
Intentionally calming our minds and relaxing our bodies takes practice.
If you can practice relaxation techniques when you’re NOT stressed, you’ll condition yourself to relax when you most need it.
What happens to your body when you’re stressed?
In stressful situations, your body releases a hormonal cocktail that can cause your heart to beat faster, your breath to speed up, and your muscles to tense.
This “stress response” is called “fight, flight, or freeze” and it was really helpful to our paleo ancestors in fighting off predators and competitors.
In the modern world, you might not find yourself being chased by a tiger but things like adverse life events (unemployment, loss, illness, abuse, etc.) and even daily work or family-related stressors can trigger this stress response.
When you’re stressed out, how do you tend to respond? Do you feel the urge to fight back (either verbally or physically)? To escape or runaway? Or do you simply shutdown (freeze)?
Sometimes due to chronic stress, we experience the effects of this hormonal cocktail for prolonged periods of time. This can lead to more stress and other health problems like heart disease, insomnia, and depression.
Thankfully, there are plenty of tried and true ways to help your body counter its stress response. Relaxation techniques can switch your body over into “rest, digest, and relate” mode.
When that happens, the body stops releasing stress hormones. As a result, you might feel your heart and breathing rates slow down, your muscles relax, and hopefully you’ll start to feel more calm.
You can practice many of these relaxation techniques “in the moment” as you’re going about your daily activities. Others may take a little more scheduling.
Here are seven relaxation techniques to help you manage stress and find calm:
Meditation for Relaxation
Meditation helps ease stress by giving your mind something to focus on other than a particular stressor. Remember, meditation takes practice. The more you practice with this relaxation meditation, the easier it will get!
You can record yourself saying the following directions or try to memorize them and guide yourself. (These aren’t magic words or phrases; so long as you get the basic idea, you’ll do just fine.)
Alternately, you can practice with this class on my YouTube channel that follows this same basic script.
If you’re practicing on your own, I recommend setting a time so you don’t have to worry about falling asleep or spending too much time here. 10 minutes might be a good starting point.
Here’s the meditation script:
Lie down on your back. Make yourself comfortable so you don’t have to move or adjust your position. Allow your eyes to softly close.
Take a few deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth to help yourself settle in. Then allow your breath to become involuntary again.
Relax your muscles and surrender your body into the pull of gravity. Feel your body sink into the ground.
Visualize the color purple. Feel your awareness concentrate at the point between your eyebrows.
Visualize the color blue. Notice the center of your throat.
See the color green. Feel your awareness concentrate at the center of your chest.
See yellow. Notice the point midway between the base of your sternum and your navel.
Orange. Feel the point midway between your navel and your pubic bone - the very center of the pelvis.
See red. Feel your legs, feet, and even the soles of the feet. Notice a warm tingling sensation at the soles of the feet as you see the color red.
From here you have a few choices: 1) Continue meditating on the last step, 2) simply rest, or 3) start back up at the point between the eyebrows and follow the meditation again.
When you’re ready to get up, go slowly and channel your sloth-nature.
Meditative Movement
Meditative Movement - yoga, tai chi, qigong, take an “unwind” class
Practices like certain kinds of yoga, tai chi, and qigong can help you relax. These mind-body activities have a few things in common:
Slow, controlled movements
Focus on coordinating movement with breath
Concentration on the present moment
Attention to body position
All of these features can help you tune in to your body and calm worry, stress, and anxiety.
Deep Breathing
The main goal here is to slow your breathing rate down so that your nervous system knows it’s okay to stop pumping out those stress hormones.
Keep in mind that although you want to slow your breath, you also want to avoid feeling oxygen-starved.
There are so many different ways to practice deep breathing so I’ll share the one I like the best.
If it feels too difficult or creates anxiety to breathe for the amounts of time I list below, adjust it to fit your needs.
You can practice deep breathing while sitting up or lying down. I always like to put my hands on my stomach so I can feel how my body moves as I breathe. If possible, practice deep breathing through your nose as opposed to your mouth.
4-7-8 Breath
Breathe in for a count of four.
Hold your breath for a count of seven.
Exhale for a count of eight.
Repeat this four times.
So if 4-7-8 breath feels too challenging, you could always try 3-5-6. As you start to relax, you may be able to lengthen your breath even more. The main feature of 4-7-8 breath is that the exhale is the longest part of the process.
Contract / Relax
Remember that stress hormones can cause your muscles to tense. This exercise will help you fully contract your muscles so that you can then fully relax them.
As you inhale, you’ll contract or squeeze a muscle or group of muscles. Then when you exhale, you’ll relax those same muscles.
You can practice contract/relax with your whole body at once, progressively through your body, or just in a specific part of your body.
Whole Body
Inhale and squeeze all the muscles of your body that you can access. Scrunch up your face, shrug your shoulders, clench your fists, squeeze your tush, engage your legs, and curl your toes.
Exhale and relax all those parts at the same time.
Repeat three times.
Progressive
Starting at your head, work your way down through the body as follows—remember, inhale to contract and exhale to relax:
Facial muscles
Shoulders
Fists
Abdomen
Pelvic muscles (i.e. your tush)
Legs (thighs + calves)
Feet
Contract and relax each muscle group three times.
One Spot
Perhaps you notice you’re holding a lot of tension in just one part of your body—like your shoulders for example.
You can just practice contract/relax for that one spot. Simply inhale to contract that muscle or group of muscles and then exhale to relax. Try this three times.
Photo by Zach Betten on Unsplash
Spend Time in Nature
Time spent in nature can be incredibly calming and healing. Sometimes just picturing your favorite outdoor spot (the beach, a hammock in the woods, picnicking at the park) is enough to help you relax.
Just like you schedule doctor’s appointments and teeth cleanings, build nature time into your calendar—even if you’re just heading out for a quick stroll.
Watching the trees dance in the wind or catching a sunrise can help take your mind off your problems. Experiencing the “bigness” of nature can also help us gain perspective on our lives.
There’s also plenty of ways to bring nature inside in order to reap the stress-reducing benefits of the outdoors while you’re at work. Even something as simple as a water feature on your desk can add an element of calm to your workday.
©KindBody Movement, LLC. Photo by Whitney Jade Photography.
Get a Massage
There’s nothing like climbing onto the massage table and feeling the tension melt from your body.
Apart from the physical benefits of massage, the therapeutic relationship between practitioner and client can foster a feeling of connection that makes you feel more supported in general. Receiving compassionate touch influences your feeling of overall well-being.
If you can’t get a massage or simply don’t want one, try self-massage. It’s not quite the same but it can also help you to tune in to your body and focus your mind in the present moment.
My Roll to Rescue course can help you get started.
Do Something You Enjoy
Relaxation doesn’t have to be complicated. Maybe you feel really refreshed after taking a warm bath, seeing a movie, enjoying tea with a friend, or getting crafty.
When we’re stressed out, it can be hard to see beyond the problems in our lives and all our responsibilities. Sometimes, simply doing something you enjoy without regard to the outcome or your level of productivity is enough to tip the balance toward calm.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Think about how you can fit some of these relaxation techniques into your daily life. Sometimes it might take a little planning and forethought but other times you can fit in some deep breathing or contract/relax at your desk, during your commute, or even while parenting.
Remember that the more you practice intentionally relaxing, the easier it will become. You’ll condition your body and it will respond by relaxing more quickly.
What’s your favorite way to relax?