2020 Year in Review
My 2020 Year End Wrap-Up
Heading into 2020, I thought this was going to be my year and I chose my “word of the year”—EMERGE—to represent that.
With my son in a mom’s day out two days a week and my daughter in preschool full-time, I actually had guilt-free time to focus on my professional goals and was able to end a long streak of working evenings. I was able to launch my podcast, Insisterhood, to share the stories of female entrepreneurs, artists, and change-makers. That was fantastic. It felt great to have that time during the day for the podcast and for work and it gave me a taste of what life might feel like in the Fall, when both kids would be in school full-time. Looking back, I can see that my calendar was full of work, social engagements, and podcast interviews—I was EMERGING.
Until the pandemic said, “Get back into your cocoon.”
The kids came home. My husband started working from home. I stopped offering massage. Much of the work I had created for Insisterhood felt immediately irrelevant. The word of the moment became PIVOT. But I didn’t want to pivot—and there’s not much room to pivot with massage. I did figure out how to conduct remote interviews for the podcast and, eventually, I was able to wrap my head around offering massage again, with lots of extra precautions.
Me with the hand sewn quilt I made for my son. That patch was from the pants my husband wore in our wedding.
Pandemic Life
In the meantime, we did all the pandemic things: we gardened; we Zoomed; we cut up old t-shirts to use in place of toilet paper; we all got scooters. I cut everyone’s hair (including my own) and I made a quilt for my son. I even tried (and failed) at sourdough. We taught our kids to wear masks and to stay away from others in the store, at the park, and on the trail. Every decision that would take us out of the house required a risk analysis. Parenting decisions often felt insurmountable.
Although it’s been hard, I know it’s been easier for us than for many others.
We still had my husband’s income and we chose to include his parents in our bubble so that we could have help with the kids. Our home is safe. Our marriage is strong—we even celebrated our ten year anniversary in May, albeit in a different way than we had originally planned.
How I Moved
Pre-pandemic, I enjoyed hitting up my favorite exercise class or moving on my mat at home, on top of all the other ways I have designed my movement-rich life. But once COVID emerged as our reality, I no longer felt comfortable exercising in-person with a group. I still enjoyed moving on my mat and for a while I led my husband and myself in mat-based workouts. Eventually, our kids stopped allowing us to do this, though, and I started to need more space for myself. Walking has always been a part of my life but this year, I really ramped it up. In the summer, I would wake up early before it got too hot to fit in my walk. Now that it’s colder, I take my walk in the afternoon. We still take walks as a family but those can be slow and rambling and my daily solo walk has become a mainstay in my self-care—especially in light of some health concerns that developed later on (more on that below).
Homeschool + Parenting as Activism
Eventually, we made the tough choice to homeschool. As our country wrestled with the issues of systemic racism, the value of science, and the reality of climate change, I often felt helpless. I didn’t feel comfortable heading out for a protest and I didn’t have an abundance of time for phone banking or letter writing. I remember clearly the day I was out for my afternoon walk and I realized that I could still be an activist through my parenting. Homeschool especially, gave me the chance to get my kids excited about science, to share a more accurate narrative of our country’s treatment of marginalized peoples, and to cultivate awe and wonder at the beauty of our Earth.
My 2020 Health Scare
I’m thankful for Magic School Bus, Wild Kratts, and Nova for being my occasional substitute teachers. Like that time I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst headache of my life and spent the next two days in bed and the next two weeks trying to decipher what had happened to my body. After an MRI and a scary trip to the ER, I learned that I had actually had a spontaneous carotid artery dissection and an accompanying pseudo aneurysm. I would need to take blood thinners and make some adjustments. I couldn’t pick up my kids or do any heavy lifting (sorry to my neighbors who are still looking at the TONS of river rock we had delivered for our landscaping). I would need to stick with moderate exercise and manage my blood pressure, which is normally on the low side but definitely goes up when I feel mad.
Scan the QR code to hear my voting story as part of the Every Woman Vote project.
Vote for Hope
I also relied on my substitute teachers that time I went to vote and thought I would be back in half an hour but was actually gone all morning. The election felt like hope for me. I remember showing up to the first day of early voting and chatting with masked strangers while in line for an hour and a half. I remember being awe-struck by the line of people who showed up to make their voices heard; the line that spanned the length of the strip mall. When the result finally came, I screamed and shouted and jumped up and down. I felt hope for the future.
The Power of Story
In the wake of all that 2020 threw at me, I still found ways to EMERGE. As a result of Insisterhood, I forged connections with other female entrepreneurs here in Knoxville. What really EMERGED was the power of story. Our stories connect us—even when the details are different. Our stories serve up our realness in ways that move our minds and our hearts. Our stories tip the needle towards compassion and our collective experience—something our country desperately needs right now. I’m so thankful for this network of women, holding one another up so that we all succeed.
COVID Clarity
Something else EMERGED this year—clarity. I was able to get really clear about what’s most important to me and what I have to offer the world. I’ve had to be patient, though. Despite my ambitions and in light of the restrictions of time, health concerns, and parenting responsibilities, I’m learning that “things take the time they take.” Boy is that a hard pill to swallow.
We simply move our floor sitting dining table to the living room when it’s time to record for the virtual studio.
New Virtual Studio
I’m excited to eventually share the projects I’ve been working on. The first should be ready in just a few weeks: a virtual studio full of recorded movement classes, self-massage routines, and—because I know many folks still aren’t ready to come back for a massage—tutorials on how to massage the ones you’re with. My newsletter subscribers will have the opportunity to join the virtual studio first as founding members and at a lower price than will ever be offered again. (So make sure you’re subscribed!)
Looking forward…
2021 will bring some changes—namely, we’ve decided to end our experiment with homeschooling. With my kids in school, I’ll have more availability for massage and more time to focus on these projects I’ve already mentioned. For now, I’m trying to soak up this time with my kids and to just have fun. (Reach out if you’d like to schedule a massage for 2021!)
This was one of my family’s favorite local spots to play and unwind this year.
In all my scheming and dreaming, I’ve chosen MANIFEST to be my word for 2021. I’m ready to pound the pavement and MANIFEST these projects and goals that have been living in my head. I’m also ready to MANIFEST some carrots because those suckers have been eluding me the past few seasons in my garden. I even wrote a MANIFESTO during the Let Her Speak Summit, a virtual event I attended this year. I’m sharing it here because it really charges me and inspires me and maybe it will do the same for you.